28 October, 2015

9 things to get a girl through a bad day


Looking like a pro can make you feel like a pro. I wear lipstick on most days because let’s be real, it is the grown-ups answer to face paint. Especially on the days that seem un-doable, when you have actual big problems that mean something tiny like running out of milk is THE END OF THE WORLD (a tantrum which you later justify as “the straw that broke the camel’s back”) and all you can see in front of you is 12 hours of pain and a lot of rain.

Even on those depressing days, painting your lips makes you feel like a doyenne of the day. It makes you want to smile. Fake it ‘til you make it and that. So go forth and buy out the Mac counter, show the world you’re ready to face it, even if on the inside you’re crying into your bone dry Weetabix.

Desk. Snacks.

Although we are worldly wise and highly advanced here in 2015 (ahem) underneath all the evolution our basic instincts still remain. Sometimes you have to strip your life goals right back to simply getting through the day and achieving food. It can therefore be incredibly reassuring to stock up on snacks. 

Setting up a tuck shop at your desk can be strangely heartening. That may look like a satsuma, but it’s actually a mid-morning pep talk. And what was once an ordinary Wham bar, is now going to help me Pow my way to 5pm.

Buy a thing

We are living in a material world, and we are a material girl god dammit. We just are. We don’t always succumb to the temptation of material things, but when you spend most of your time resisting the lure of stuff, then it’s okay to occasionally fall into debt for the sake of your sanity. Whether you “need” some silk pyjamas to make you feel like a queen, or a sexy new chunky knit to be your hug all day long – just treat yourself. Your wardrobe might not need those extravagances, but your soul does.

Choose a power song, and listen to it on repeat

Because we’re all Beyonce. And that woman has seen so many of us through so many battles. If B isn’t your vibe, find yourself a song that does make you feel empowered, positive, lifted (lighthouse family anyone?) because music really is a miracle for the moods.

Send up a flare

When my friends and I are struggling, we step up for each other in little ways. When I have a friend in need, I go into full list sending mode. Lists of ridiculous things that have happened to me (no-one wants to know about your most humiliating moments more than your best mates), or if I have had a normal day (rare) I’ll bullet point every amazing quality I love about them. And they do the same back. “No, YOU’RE amazing.”

Your friends don’t always know when you are having a bad time of it though. Sometimes it is best to just power through, but other times you’ve used up all your last fight, and you really need someone else to swoop in with some sunshine. Don’t update your Facebook status with a sad face hoping for the sympathy (nosiness) to flood in, because that’s annoying, but DO send the death skull followed by the ambulance emoji to your mates in a Whatsapp group. They’ll know what to do.

Cancel. Your. Plans.

It always seems to be that when you’re burnt all out and sinking into an abyss, that will also be the one night you have plans with the very same person you have cancelled on the last 7 times for the very same reason. And then it’s just hanging over you all day, debating cancelling, until it’s definitely too late to do so. The last time I did that, I spent £40 I didn’t have and very wobbly 2 hours stuffing my face with gyozas to avoid crying. Woesabi. I was terrible company and made myself sick from the emotional exhaustion.

After that, I made a mental note to next time give myself a night in front of Netflix when I know I need it. Your gut knows what you need, and you have gots to listen to it more than you need to please your pals. I am learning that sometimes you just have to be a little selfish and stop worrying what other people will think. I mean, no-one was better off for me showing up that night. No-one.

Make plans

Conversely, sometimes making evening plans is what you need to pull you through from 9 to 5. Depending on the cause of your misery, there are times when only a cocktail and a bitch with your pal will lift you of your slump. It’s easy to “stuck in your own head” and it can do a world of good to just have a damn glass of wine, forget about all that is real life and let go for a bit. Just don’t let all the way go, because if you were down before, waking up with a hangover is going to be the nail in the proverbial coffin.

The right shoe

Not much in this life is our friend whatever the weather but shoes, shoes are. They always fit - unless you have hideously wide feet like me, then you get laughed out of Office on the regular - there is a pair to fit every mood, occasion and handbag, and wearing the right shoe on the right day can make all the difference.

Take today, it torrential rained on me ALL DAY LONG as I trekked to Birmingham and back with just my umbrella and a sodding wet sodding non-waterproof coat for sodding company. My shoes had my back though.The heel kept me above the floods, the sturdy leather remained waterproof and whilst I hobbled along like a drowned rat, I felt ten feet tall (inc the brolly)

Remember this isn’t everything you are

Sometimes the days are so tough, that it’s all you can do to brace yourself for the storms each morning and try your absolute best to build armour from within. Sometimes, we move through the days with knots in our stomachs and fragile hearts. On those days, you have to keep moving, look beyond, and remember that whatever THIS is, is not your end all.

Whatever your worries are now, will not be your worries one day. So let them go, because this will pass. It’s easier said than done, but that outlook can really help you to snub the sludge you’re trudging through, keep your head above water and look ahead to that sun on that horizon. It may seem far, but it’s there and you’ll make it.

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