04 October, 2015

25 questions a twenty-something girl might ask

  1. Where are all the Kirby grips? No seriously. Who has them? 
  2. Why do they claim half a tin of soup is a portion? Is it a trick? 
  3. I’ve been drinking wine conscientiously for a strong 12 years. Yet, one glass and I’m hammered? 
  4. Can I go one more day without washing my hair? It’s just Such. An. Effort. 
  5. Do I NEED to do yoga to achieve a yoga bum? 
  6. How important is ironing? Really? 
  7. Is it okay that I AM EQUAL TO MAN but also want them to pay and do all the fancy gestures? Don’t answer that. 
  8. I didn’t text back for like, an hour. That’s “cool”, right? 
  9. They ladder before interviews, they are a nightmare to wiggle on and completely unsexy to wiggle off. For the love of god will someone please design a better tight? 
  10. What do we want? Free tampons! When do we want them? Now! 
  11. Megan Fox can’t be real? 
  12. That day of the week that you just cannot and your hair is greasy and you didn’t have time for make-up and there’s toothpaste on your (creased) blouse, and suddenly everyone’s all “Oooh you look great, I love your hair all dripping like that.” HOW? 
  13. But, it doesn’t count when you eat chips off someone else’s plate or in two half portions? DOES IT? Very sad, chubby face. 
  14. How many times can I view someone’s Facebook before it can reasonably be considered stalking? 
  15. How seriously should I be considering switching to “matcha”? (Bet it’s no matcha for my Yorkshire tea).
  16. How do people BUY HOUSES? *increases overdraft* 
  17. Do I care that I just destroyed a whole, large pizza in a time when Kate Hudson “avoids complex carbs”? Not really. 
  18. Do I own too many pairs of “cute” pyjamas for a fully grown adult? And more importantly, do I spend too much time in them? 
  19. How can I upload a selfie without it looking like I am uploading a selfie? 
  20. Where do broken hearts go? 
  21. I wonder what my actual bra size is? 
  22. Which Friends character am I most like? Rachel? Did you say Rachel? I think you mean Rachel. 
  23. I have a few “good years” left on my metabolism, right? *Goes in for thirds* 
  24. Will anyone notice that I a) have no idea what I am doing b) have been blagging it since I graduated and c) am A CHILD INSIDE?
  25. What would Zooey do? 

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