Hello lovely world. I have had a little break from writing this summer - every writer needs a breather sometimes, otherwise you spend a hell of a lot of time putting energy out into the world and not enough time absorbing it. And you get tired. Whist I have been focusing my energy elsewhere, so many blog posts have been written in my mind. It's weird not channelling my emotions into writing and sharing, but it is certainly better for my own peace of mind to just 'keep something back' for me from time to time.
Over the past few days I think we have all felt the first few thrills of autumn - probably my favourite time of the year - and all the thoughts whirling round in my little head have inspired me to pick up my 'pen' again. We all want to delight in the excitement of a new month, especially this one. Ahh September. Like a lot of people, I have a lot of affection for this month – the start of a new season, the nostalgic end to a summer of fun (if you're lucky) and that feeling of a clean slate, starting afresh. September means a new notebook at the very least, and at some point a new wardrobe.
It's weird really because actually September is just like any other month, one of the few months in our calendar with no fancy holiday or reason to get excited. Yet it is ingrained in us from a very early age that September marks the start of something new, usually in the form of a school year or leaving home and beginning the life changing adventure that is university.
Summer sunshine is forgotten and people look forward to things like chunky knits and soup, we switch White wine for Red and wonder how long it is before they can start planning Christmas. Yes, I said it. For me though, September has always carried even more nostalgia. I live in a city which totally transforms with each new wave of students that hits it – Sheffield is pretty small as city centres go, and far too small to have 2 whopping great uni’s in the middle of it and nowhere for locals (am I really a local? I think I’m still in post-grad limbo) to run. I try to close my eyes and drown out the sounds of a city coming to life with Freshers who get younger every year, because the nostalgia is just too much for me. One of the drawbacks of having stayed in your university city is there are memories everywhere you look. University wasn’t the happiest time of my life even nearly, I am infinitely happier now, but somehow the sweet memories that sweep me up on the soft September breeze fill me with a round of pangs.
As well as this, ALL my major life changes have taken place in September. It’s when relationships have begun and ended, all my job transitions (and I've had a few) have happened in September so it is at this time I am usually a new girl or getting ready to move on. I don't think this is exclusive to me - the end of a long summer sparks lots of people to shake up their lives, hand in that notice or end that dead end relationship. As a result, it has always been the time I change the most, as a person. I meet new people, some of whom have become my very best friends and inspired me, and I try new things. With all the external changes September has always brought for me, it has often encouraged me to change too. Emotionally, mentally, even physically – and with each change with each year, I get stronger.
So without fail I wake up every 1st September feeling excited nervous, like the first day back at school, and throughout the month there is a dull but constant thud of nostalgia in my tummy, which grows with every autumn chill and every darker morning. Not the kind of nostalgia that makes you want to go back, but the kind that makes you remember.
This September is no different, and I am so happy it is here! The high pressure of the summer is off, we can all let out our bikini bodies out and snuggle indoors. It’s mine and Gareth’s anniversary next week and I am currently walking around in an actual bubble of love, remembering all our ‘firsts’ and thinking how far we have come as a couple. I am really looking forward to celebrating with him and I get all teary thinking about our adventures. Away from my relationship, I have had a very strange summer (but that’s for another blog post which I am saving for another time), so this September almost definitely holds some big upheavals again for me and I have to say I am actually really ready.
Have a great September everyone.