08 February, 2013

#2 My iPod & I: On a Good Day

The other day I was listening to Last FM's acoustic tag radio, when David Grey came crooning into my headphones, wobbling his head as good as he did 15 years ago. When he did, I got a feeling. Not that tonight's gonna be a good night (although it probably is) but that feeling you get when a song stirs up some memory from somewhere, buried way way down in the depths of the vault that is our past. Usually I understand when a song instigates a feeling of nostalgia in me - good or bad, the memory comes back from the moment or time in my life from when this song first entered it. Not this time though. I couldn't work out what the feeling was, I knew it was some good but also something negative that I couldn't pinpoint, and I still can't.

This morning a similar thing happened, when I went for a lovely long run, and this song that has been on my running playlist since it was founded 3 years ago came on. This time though, I knew exactly what the feelings were and from what time. On a Good Day by Above & Beyond is the song that stuck with me through a really difficult time. Back in my raving days, it was one of my favourites, but while I loved it at the time that wasn't actually a very happy time for me, in the end. Ironically it is also the song that powered me through my first few months of running, when I got up at 6am every day to fight back and show 'them' what I was made of. It came with me as I gradually rediscovered myself and my confidence and while it was hard to listen to at times, it made me fight on.

Now, all those mixed feelings come flooding back every time I hear it. I have a strange affection for the song that served me so well in my early running days, but also a knot of negative emotions that still tie my stomach into a ball when those first bars come in and those lyrics resound. Yet it remains on my running playlist. Because it reminds me of how far I have come and it shows me that no matter how tough things can be, no matter how difficult it might sometimes get, you just have to keep running.



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